After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
