it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
