You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize