I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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