Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
