Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
