My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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