Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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