I could have mohawked her pubes.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
