so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
