You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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