ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
