She is in my trunk
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
