Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
