Just cropdusted the office
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
