hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Randomize
