Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
