She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Randomize
