lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I think I just sharted jello shots
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