It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
