Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize