she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
