The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
