I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
