Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
