They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
