sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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