Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
