I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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