I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
