my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
