The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
