Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
