I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
