Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
