that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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