Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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