that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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