she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
