Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
