I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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