Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
