It's Friday. Sex?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
