Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
