I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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