wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
