So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
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