Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
