I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
