Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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