I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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