I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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