I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
