DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
They have beer where we have blood.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
