I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
